This discussion thread is an experiment. Instead of me writing to you, I’m here to ask you a question: What motivation advice do you need?
Maybe you want help to finally start writing that book? Maybe you feel stumped by your child who seems motivated to play the clarinet and unmotivated for everything else? Or maybe you find it hard to sustain your motivation after years offreelancing.
I love reading advice columns (see here and here). I like to believe that the wisdom of sagacious internet strangers percolates through me1. I also enjoy some self-help books. I’m wary of them alright: I question dogma, overplayed ‘expertise’, and facile, one-size-fits-all tips; but treasure rare a-ha insights.
And yet! I’ve been reluctant to offer advice on this newsletter. When some of you perceptive readers asked me for it on the sly, I’ve felt uncomfortable because I’m not an ‘expert’; you are the expert on your own life. I’m one person, exploring ideas, asking around, getting it wrong along the way.
But I’m also in a position, I think, to help a little: to listen; to access people more knowledgeable and experienced than I am; to relay their insights, to find links between ideas and people and situations.
So, over to you. I’m all ears. Your input and questions will help me make this newsletter more useful to you.
PS: As always, if you’d rather not comment publicly, hit reply to send me an e-mail.
There's lots of things I could seek motivation advice on, but... one that really bugs me a lot is getting in touch with friends--old and new. I really cherish the depth I can get to with old friends. And I really get buzzed from conversations with new acquaintances! However, I feel dragged-down by guilt from feeling I've already failed them by not being in touch more! It's like if I think about calling or emailing one friend, my mind goes to, "Well what about [other friend]? And also, you should call [so-and-so] for [plausible reason!"
There's another problem with this too. In most dialogues, I feel tremendously responsible for how things go. It's like I'm being self-protective of my own image but also holding myself super-responsible for using words to help the other person as much as possible. Sometimes I send too-long emails "so as to not be misunderstood" or "because something shorter wouldn't truly capture what I'm trying to say"--which seldom serves my hearer or the cause of maintaining a dialogue. Other times, it results in, well... starting a lot of writing (sometimes personal communications, sometimes substack posts, etc.) that I never complete. Ahh. I think the word I wanted here was "perfectionism."
Also, I'm a math teacher & tutor, and it's summer for me! My mind has like 5 projects I'm dreaming of, any of which could be a good investment this summer. (Not putting them forward right away... that'll distract me too much! But I'd love it if you'd ask me more so i have an excuse to maybe write them out. They're all pretty legit ideas... nothin' too crazy or inherently-controversial.)
I love anything about -- you put it so well -- sustaining motivation. I'm a highly disciplined person (not always a good thing) but I go through periods of low motivation, even burnout, just like everyone else. How do you keep a long-term project going through what Seth Godin so aptly called "the dip," especially if the "dips" come back around? It's less that I expect there *never* to be low points -- that's not realistic -- but more like, how do I care for my motivation when it's not as robust as usual? (Is there anything to do besides simply allowing it?) Curious to hear your thoughts, as always.
There's lots of things I could seek motivation advice on, but... one that really bugs me a lot is getting in touch with friends--old and new. I really cherish the depth I can get to with old friends. And I really get buzzed from conversations with new acquaintances! However, I feel dragged-down by guilt from feeling I've already failed them by not being in touch more! It's like if I think about calling or emailing one friend, my mind goes to, "Well what about [other friend]? And also, you should call [so-and-so] for [plausible reason!"
There's another problem with this too. In most dialogues, I feel tremendously responsible for how things go. It's like I'm being self-protective of my own image but also holding myself super-responsible for using words to help the other person as much as possible. Sometimes I send too-long emails "so as to not be misunderstood" or "because something shorter wouldn't truly capture what I'm trying to say"--which seldom serves my hearer or the cause of maintaining a dialogue. Other times, it results in, well... starting a lot of writing (sometimes personal communications, sometimes substack posts, etc.) that I never complete. Ahh. I think the word I wanted here was "perfectionism."
Also, I'm a math teacher & tutor, and it's summer for me! My mind has like 5 projects I'm dreaming of, any of which could be a good investment this summer. (Not putting them forward right away... that'll distract me too much! But I'd love it if you'd ask me more so i have an excuse to maybe write them out. They're all pretty legit ideas... nothin' too crazy or inherently-controversial.)
I love anything about -- you put it so well -- sustaining motivation. I'm a highly disciplined person (not always a good thing) but I go through periods of low motivation, even burnout, just like everyone else. How do you keep a long-term project going through what Seth Godin so aptly called "the dip," especially if the "dips" come back around? It's less that I expect there *never* to be low points -- that's not realistic -- but more like, how do I care for my motivation when it's not as robust as usual? (Is there anything to do besides simply allowing it?) Curious to hear your thoughts, as always.