#23: Three things that got me thinking
delight + the mood to write + diamonds
In #21, I wrote a smug, loved-up ode to our family routine. I feel compelled to disclose that things did go downhill after that. I’ve lost my sh*t (and then apologised, of course), especially when we both tried to work before the babies woke up from their nap and our eldest needed attention and I also needed fresh air and UGH!
Let’s get into this week’s Things.
1. Delectation
As I wrote last Friday, I’m not making elaborate or measurable New Year’s resolutions.
What I want these days is to pay more attention to pleasure. This is not a euphemism for sex; I simply mean things that feel good. A juicy peach; a soft blanket; dancing to a song I love; picking colours I like to build that Duplo tower; literally stopping to smell the roses. I might have felt too busy or righteous for delight in the past years, partly because I rejected the idea of self-care that revolves around expensive skincare and extended time alone. But there’s nothing worthy about obliviousness, and joy needn’t cost a thing.
2. “the writing will create the mood”
Last week, I wrote about one way to get unstuck, which is: get started and keep moving.
Echoing that advice in his 3-2-1 newsletter, James Clear (the author of Atomic Habits) calls this “motivation following action”. He quotes writer Joyce Carol Oates:
"One must be pitiless about this matter of "mood." In a sense, the writing will create the mood. ... I have forced myself to begin writing when I've been utterly exhausted, when I've felt my soul as thin as a playing card, when nothing has seemed worth enduring for another five minutes ... and somehow the activity of writing changes everything."
Now, I dislike the idea of pushing through exhaustion and despair. Honestly, if “nothing seems worth enduring for another five minutes”, maybe you need sleep, a glug of water and/or a hug more than time in front of a blank page.
But I do like the idea of not waiting for the perfect moment of focus and calm and disposition, of just getting started for the sake of it, of giving it a try.
When your friend is beckoning to you from the dance floor because she knows you love that song, and she takes your hand gently and you shake your head No and drag your feet, maybe you really don’t want to dance and fair enough. But what if she’s got a point? Sometimes, you just raise a shoulder, then the other, and before you know it, you’re dancing.
3. “your precious gems” 💎✨💎
Can you take one more metaphor?
Teachers or masters are “not giving anything to you. They’re pulling out of you, from the mine of your soul, your diamonds and your rubies and your sapphires, your precious gems.”
From this soothing 8-minute video by French film-maker Mai Hua:
